Posted by: 94stranger | April 19, 2008

Haiku 20

I’ve found myself become increasingly involved in the writing of Haiku [3 lines of 5, 7 and 5 syllables respectively; traditional theme: nature], following the lead taken by Quoin Monkey on the redravine blog; the following link has over a hundred (as of March 25 200 8) and is well worth a visit - or several!) [Stop press: April 16 - over 200 now] 

http://redravine.wordpress.com/2008/01/15/haiku-one-a-day/ 

to the point where I now feel like re-posting mine here from now on,  as and when I come up with one. here’s the first:

cold grey winter sea

walkers in arctic sun red

splash: camelia

Responses

25/03/08
Ice-green sea, barely
ruffled, slaps the shore; it’s warm
looking from the bus.

26/03/08
sun breaks through after
noon; cold departed; this eve-
ning, rain from the west

27/03/08
The samurai this
time wields a lap-top; cherry
blossom on the path

seabirds bending the
wind; angry brown sea; bouncing
rain on the pavement

This is not practice,
this is haiku; else all were
just practice for death

But I would in fact prefer it phrased not as above, but like this:

This is not practice,
this is haiku;
else all were just
practice for death.

meditation on sound patterns appropriate?

W.B. Yeats

He Wishes For the Clothes of Heaven

Had I the heavens’ embroidered clothes,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
_____________________________

Yeats, when I hear you,
will-o’-the wisp is my feel-
ing; mist in my soul

Your haikus are wonderful :) “Mist In My Soul”….what a sublimely accurate expression for the feeling this Yeats piece evokes…especially the last line…

“tread softly because you tread on my dreams…”

This should be on a calling card of some sort! LOL

Hello stranger, just wanted to tell you how thrilled I am with the posts on this page - of course I found you on red Ravine. Love the haiku habit.
My blog is chickenlil.org - I do love your images and poetry, thanks for the Yeats too.

LiL

Grace and Lil, thank you for your kind words. I will come visit as soon as I get back from the short break that I’m about to start.

Green sea like summer,
foreign students on the beach;
warm heart like summer

Hi stranger,

Your haiku are beautiful. You really are a poet, you know.

The beauty of haiku is that it offers such a visual image of the nature around you. I can see the sea, the angry brown sea, the green sea. It’s amazing how with just a few essential words, you’ve captured what you see.

Have a good break. See you soon.

These are beautiful my sweet friend!

I knew you could not remain quiet..the words are stirring like fire within your heart!

I hope you enjoy your much deserved break! :)

Yb,
I think those of us who are writing Haiku probably all feel the surprising power that this form has: apparently working on the principle that less is more! The vividness of description which seems to me a property of haiku itself, rather than any particular user, is apparently related to the need for absolute brevity.
Anyhow, thank you for your kind words, and I assure you they are reciprocated - I’ve been admiring your own haiku recently; just not saying so until now because of sticking to my new formula of trying to restrict the non-Rainring part of my output. ‘Haiku is the Japanese answer to the hamburger - discuss.’

Gypsy - you are right: I do feel the need to express myself creatively, as an antidote to all the analytical stuff I do on the cards. By the way, the expression ‘the words are stirring like fire in your heart’ - (whether or not true) strikes me as EXTREMELY poetic. I think you’ve had a bit of a hang-up in the past about your writing abilities - maybe a little haiku (see Quoin Monkey’s instructions on above link) would be a perfect way for you to launch your -strictly part-time! - literary career!!

SPEECH
(example haiku given during wedding speech)

The wedding guests, bored,
stifle yawns; when will Peter
sit down and shut up?

towers of white cloud
over fields; the train humming;
snow on the north hills

Ah…thank you my poectic friend! You made my heart smile. :)

Hmm…maybe I will check out that link. That may be a good fit for me. Short and sweet…like little paintings…eh?

I am looking forward to more of your beautiful and passionate words!

Oh these are all so nifty. I have never written a haiku before, so I don’t really know the rules, but you just know I can’t resist giving it a whirl:

outside in winter
my red hat has blown away
a snowball hits me

Hi Ramona,
what a great GOOD surprise - you visited AND left your calling card (does that mean in USA what it means in UK?)
Anyhow, you DEFINITELY PROVED that you can count to seven, which I think is the only qualification required for writing haiku - and I was hoping some other people might have the idea of leaving their own here, so thanks for being the first.

If you don’t mind, I’ll just introduce you to my public:

RAMONA
She doesn’t do mother-
hood and apple pie; and Sam
is not her uncle.

P.S. I’m not sure whether haiku can have titles, so this may be cheating.

9 April 08

palest grey and blue,
almost still; sunlight fizz and
sparkle on the sea.

10 April 08

The world is being
born in warm light; like these trees,
April-born was I.

Lovely!

So you were April born..eh?

…and, what day would that be. :)

‘Haiku is the Japanese answer to the hamburger - discuss.’

This is my kind of blogging 8) .

Gypsy,
I’m Taurus - not sure I’m ready to share my DOB with the universe, though.
Yb
I detect the influence of haiku in the cryptic comment: ‘this is my kind of blogging’!!

Buffeting the brown
sea, wind whips the Italian
food stalls in the square.

My kind of blogging’s
at night; my true love sleeps and
tigers roam the web

14/04/08

The sea is there; the
sky, the sun, I too; only
the muse is absent

GULLS
v-dancing the wind;
raucous yarps reverberate
over the Old Town.

THE GARDNER’S RETURN

these twenty years past
the weather was no more than
my distant cousin

The Gardner’s Return is quite mysterious my friend.
Your mind intrigues me! :)

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